Sometimes I am surprised to see my initial reaction/decisions about things. Sometimes I am proud of myself and happy about the road I was first compelled to take, and others, an initial decision horrifies me and I wonder if I really am a terrible person. Terrible person as in petty and mean-spirited.
I fight it. I don't go with the petty and mean route (not usually at least), but I am still surprised and a saddened to see that side of me. Has anyone noticed this kind of occasional meanness in themselves? There I was, watching a movie tonight, and bam, something happened that made me scream inside that I would not have done what one of the main characters had done. I got to thinking about how I would have reacted in the character's case, and there she was- that mean, petty, unforgiving person. Jealous and ready to turn someone in need away for so many stupid reasons. I really hope I'm not really a mean person trying to be a nice one. :(
No dangit, I'm not. I'm a nice person. Aren't I?
In other news, we are trying to convince Alyssa to sleep in the crib. It's not going so well.
Additionally, she's been such a cranky-pants. She hasn't been her wonderful, pleasant self, these past two days. Additionally, she's hardly eating. Michael thinks she may be teething, but I told him that if she isn't back to herself in another day, we're taking her to see the pediatrician.
Ok. Off to bed.
Note to self: pick up a copy of The Secret Garden tomorrow and read it to my little miss.
Chronicling the ups and downs of my life as a twenty-something always second-guessing herself.
- ► 2010 (36)