Chronicling the ups and downs of my life as a twenty-something always second-guessing herself.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Nothing to Worry About...sort of...

Lately, been repeating these videos on youtube:

Well, and Peter Bjorn and John's Nothing to Worry About, but they disabled the embedding on that video so I can't post it here...

Life has been life...I always feel like I have too much on my plate, and by trying to cover a little bit of everything, nothing gets accomplished.
This is it. I am getting organized and mobilized. I am going to get shit done.

Just the other day, I was thinking back to the time when it was just me on my own and do you know what I realized? I've lost a lot of myself when I got wrapped up in the inevitable process of becoming another person: someone that falls in love; someone that moves in with someone; someone that gets married; someone that has a child. That person that I swore I would not become for many many years seemed to spring to life and almost instantly whoever I had been seemed like a distant thought. Someone less appealing. Mike and whoever this doppelganger was, they ran off together. Quickly, blindly, happily.

It seems that only now that Michael and this person have slowed down a bit, that my other half, my past half, has caught up. It came out of nowhere...

I don't miss my past at all. I have been considerably happier with Michael and now with Alyssa, of course. But there are some things that I do miss. Really do miss.
For one thing, I was organized. I daydreamed more, too. I felt creative and at least every now and then I churned out something kind of nice...

It got late while writing this-- gotta go check on Alyssa!!


  1. It is the reality of it all.
    And to be honest, you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel like this at all..